69 Peter was sitting out in the courtyard. A female servant came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said. 70 But in front of all of them, Peter said he was not. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. 71 Then he went out to the gate leading into the courtyard. There another woman saw him. She said to the people, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.” 72 Again he said he was not. With an oath he said, “I don’t know the man!” 73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter. “You must be one of them,” they said. “The way you talk gives you away.” 74 Then Peter began to call down curses on himself. He took an oath and said to them, “I don’t know the man!” Right away a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said. “The rooster will crow,” Jesus had told him. “Before it does, you will say three times that you don’t know me.” Peter went outside. He broke down and sobbed.
How powerful is fear. I’ve tried to imagine what it would have been like to be in that courtyard. Lurking in the shadows – hopeful of seeing Jesus set free or at least finding something out. Waiting is the hardest thing to do when you don’t know what the outcome will be. When I’m scared it’s hard to stay true to my preferred responses – which means – when I’m scared I say and do things I wish I hadn’t. I would like to think that if I had been in Peter’s shoes (or sandals) I would have been different – but I know from personal experience, when things are out of control – that I don’t always choose faith over fear.
But just like Peter – how well Jesus knows me. When I buckle, He is not surprised. When I buckle again – He is still not surprised. Again – still not surprised. I may be gutted, but life goes on – just as it did for Peter.
God – you are amazingly patient with me. I want to choose faith over fear. I want to believe what You say and do what You ask even when I have no idea how things are going to turn out. Help me walk by faith – in the good plans You have for me, not in fear of what I cannot see or do not know.
Written by Ps. Linda Quinn