21 After he had said this, Jesus’ spirit was troubled. He said, “What I’m about to tell you is true. One of you is going to hand me over to my enemies.” 22 His disciples stared at one another. They had no idea which one of them he meant. 23 The disciple Jesus loved was next to him at the table. 24 Simon Peter motioned to that disciple. He said, “Ask Jesus which one he means.” 25 The disciple was leaning back against Jesus. He asked him, “Lord, who is it?” 26 Jesus answered, “It is the one I will give this piece of bread to. I will give it to him after I have dipped it in the dish.” He dipped the piece of bread. Then he gave it to Judas, son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “Do quickly what you are going to do.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Judas was in charge of the money. So some of the disciples thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the feast. Others thought Jesus was talking about giving something to poor people. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
I so struggle with this scene. Here is Jesus with His betrayer in the room. I would never have allowed this situation to develop let alone have a meal with him. I know the old adage keep your friends close and your enemies even closer but this one – I really find hard to understand. If I had been Jesus I would never have done this. But Jesus did and I find myself asking ‘Why’?
Here we have Jesus surrounded by love and betrayal. Maybe Jesus’ openness to the one meant that he was bound to be open to the other as well. What if it is like that for us too. Am I prepared to love greatly even if that may mean I may be betrayed greatly. For surely the two do go together – not that we want that – but to love deeply means we may be hurt deeply – to love little means only little hurt. For me I want to love deeply and I must trust that even if hurt deeply Jesus is enough to bring healing, hope forgiveness and reconciliation. This makes some sense for me and I know its truth.
Father always give me the courage to love deeply even at risk of hurt for I want to truly follow my Saviour!
Written by Ps. Richard Botta