Where do I begin?
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This is arguably the greatest passage on marriage in the Bible – and perhaps one of the most misunderstood. I struggle to know where to begin…
I could say that a wife’s submission to her husband only comes after the command to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ.
I could say that the husband’s headship over the wife is NEVER demanded but only ever earned by loving sacrifice. That “head” looks a lot like the source and origin of love and nourishment, and not at all like “commander and Chief”.
I could talk about the fact that in marriage we SHOULD wash and tend and care for one another so very, very gently, with the goal of presenting each other to God with the radiant beauty of holiness that he intended all along.
I could write about the fact that the focal point of marriage is not who’s in charge but friendship, companionship and deep, deep “oneness”.
But perhaps I would be better off saying, like Paul “this is a profound mystery” and direct you to the ultimate example – Jesus. When I come to understand Jesus, and how much he loves me, I will start to realise how I am to love my wife; to lay down my life in loving, affectionate service – putting her well-being before more own. I must love my wife as Christ loves the church. He is all the example I need.
Jesus, please help me grasp this mysterious thing called marriage and choose today to love, nurture and sacrificial serve my wife the way you do the church. Amen.
Written by B van Noppen