God’s wisdom for husbands and wives

1 Corinthians 7:1-7

¹ Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. ² But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

³ The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. ⁴ The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

⁵ Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷ But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

I first met Christian Sexologist Dr Patricia Weerakoon when I was studying at a secular university, when she taught an elective on sex and disability, but I have since gotten to know her much better. 

In her book “The best sex for life”, she unpacks the contrasts between God’s amazing design for healthy and fulfilling human sexuality, and the mixed and conflicting messages that the world around us teaches about sex

Dr Weerakoon comments that less than one in ten married couples have an equal desire for sex, and she also notes that desire levels change over time. This means that practically every couple must come to some understanding, privately with each other, on what to do when this desire imbalance happens. 

Importantly, this passage emphasises the special place of the relationship between a husband and wife. It doesn’t say that one person is entitled to sex whenever they want it! The theology of sex in the Bible is all about both couples serving one another in love, sometimes through abstaining from sex, and sometimes through making love, even when it doesn’t seem perfect. Dr Weerakoon, has shown through her research, that the wisdom of the bible, written 2000 years earlier, still stands as incredibly wise advice today.

Thank You, Lord, that Your Holy Book, the Bible, gives help and instruction to every facet of life. May we rightly handle the Word of Truth as we seek to apply its precepts to our lives. 

Written by Ps Justin Ware